Yes, friends, you read that correctly.
545 is the grand total of surveys that have been filled out thus far. You know we need a grand total of 1,000 if we’re to raffle off an Apple Watch. So, only 455 to go…
Let me tell you a story and perhaps you can appreciate why this survey is so important to us.
You may have heard that this is the Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy. When he’s not giving Fr. Z a coronary by granting press conferences on the papal plane, His Holiness likes to talk about mercy. In his beneficence, Pope Francis has granted from the treasury of the Church, a plenary indulgence to all who
- Make a pilgrimage (particularly to a shrine, cathedral church, or other designated church building) and enter through the Holy Door
- Go to confession
- Receive the Eucharist
- Make a profession of faith
- Pray for the Holy Father’s Intentions
Seems like a nice thing to do, right? It’s especially awesome considering what our faith teaches us about these indulgences. They are the complete remittence of temporal punishment due to sin and they can be applied to someone else.
Well, guess who’s been busy racking up the indulgences?
And you thought I was just a lazy blog poster. Hey, it’s hard work finding Holy Doors and satisfying all those conditions. Do you know how many times I’ve been to confession in the past month?! The sinning required to necessitate all those trips to the box has been tough work indeed. Wait, what?
Click through the following photo album. If you’re reading this on your phone, make sure to enlarge the photos to see the captions.
If you’re keeping score thats 11.
Actually, that’s 44 – 11 pilgrimages X 4 people.
44 plenary indulgences.
That means that my family has just sprung 44 of you (potentially) from a day shy of eternity in purgatory. Again, did I mention all the sinning I had to do? I know it’s faulty logic. If that doesn’t do it for you, think of all the doors I had to walk through. Lots of germs on those doors, folks. But I did it all for you. And some of these churches were a few miles off the beaten path.
On that last church above; there is a canon that allows for the faithful to gain a plenary indulgence once a year on a day of their choosing. I chose this church because it was first on our tour.
For the peace of mind of knowing that your indiscretions just got wiped totally clean – and I’m not talking to any of you in particular although I may happen to know who did what with whom thanks to my live videos and a supply of booze – how’s about you do something for me?
TAKE THE DAMN SURVEY ALREADY!
Wasn’t that easy?
Here’s what fellow alums have had to say about their experience:
- “This was the easiest thing I ever did. In fact, Trisha did it for me.” – Pat Dean, ’98
- “This survey has brought more meaning to my life than flash-fried chicken sandwiches.” – John Gordon, ’98
- “Why did you repeatedly spell my husband’s name wrong?” – Liz Kelly, ’99
- “Rita, look… Daddy’s sleeping because he drove 12 hours across Canada. Let’s wake him up! And then we can take a survey.” – Benedict Hester, ’29
- “This survey is a great kerfuffle!” – Sean Garvey, ’93